February 14, 2011

Unfunny Valentines

I have bad memories of Valentine's Days of my youth, to put it mildly. For my first few years of high school, VDay was spent gazingly longingy at the half-dead roses paraded from class to class by girls who not only had boyfriends but had boyfriends who they met at the station before school. And it didn't matter that I thought VDay was a load of bollocks or that their boyfriends were idiots, they had Someone.

On Valentine's Day in Year 10, I finally had Someone. At least at the beginning of the day. We'd only been going out for a few weeks (and he'd been at a school camp for a week of that, so really we barely knew each other at all), and I wasn't in love with him and I didn't think we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. But I did think on that I might get a half-dead rose to call my own, or at least a flowery card with a poem in it*.

Instead I got dumped. Over the phone.** And while I was trying not to cry like a hysterical Girl, he quoted a song that he thought summed up our relationship and why it had to end.

Adolescent Heartbreaker: You know 'This one goes out to the one I love' by REM?
Aimee: Yeah
AH: You know when he sings, 'This one goes out to the one I love/This one goes out to the one I've left behind/A simple prop to occupy my time'?
Aimee: Yeah.
AH: I guess you were my simple prop.
Aimee: But it's Valentine's Day.
AH: Yeah. Sorry about that.

The moral of this story? Don't go out with plonkers who quote Michael Stipe.

funny pictures of cats with captions

* He did have form for writing angsty poems about love, so this wasn't as unrealistic as it may sound.
** This was back in the dark ages before you could dump someone via text message or IM or by changing your relationship status on Facebook back to 'single' - all avenues that I'm sure this boy would have taken if the technology had been invented back then.

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